It seems that "I want to talk to that person." Tips for being "consulted and good" from a good listener

It is attractive to be relied on as a "good consultant"

Whether at work or in private, when you have a problem or want someone's advice, there are people who say "Let's talk to that person!" Or "I talked to someone else without thinking" Is it? "Good listeners" who are good at listening to stories are also nice, but "good at being consulted" who are good at listening to consultations are more reliable.

What kind of person is such an attractive "good consultant"? How can I be myself? Here are some tips to help you become "consulted and good". We will introduce the NG behavior that you should not do when you are consulted and the points that you should keep in mind when talking, so please check it out.

When consulted. NG behavior that should not be done

Block the other party's story

When listening to the other person's story, there are times when you may inadvertently interrupt the story in the middle of the story. In such a case, let's endure and listen to the other party's story to the end. No matter how long it takes, it is NG to interrupt the talk during the consultation.

Imposing your own opinion

Even if I get a consultation and feel strongly in myself, "Isn't it better to do this?", It is NG to impose opinions or make decisions.

Even if you do not intend to impose your own opinion, it may be misunderstood by the other party that you have been "imposed on your opinion" depending on how you receive it and how you convey it. Be careful when giving your opinion so that you don't feel sorry for each other later.

Be emotional

Listen calmly, especially when consulted. There may be occasions when you want to preach, or it may contain content that makes you angry. However, if you become emotional when you receive a consultation, you may lose the trust of the other party.

Immediately state the truth

Sometimes it is important to tell the other person the truth. However, when you receive a consultation, the other person may also understand the truth and then consult with you. Before telling the truth to the other person, think about the other person's feelings.

Backbit together

Sometimes I just get emotional about the other person and get together and say something bad about someone. It is ◎ to consider the position and feelings of the other party and get a consultation! However, it can be misleading later if someone who is not there speaks badly. To the last, it is GOOD that you can receive consultation with a positive attitude.

You can also be "consulted and good"! 5 points to keep in mind

Don't be prepared to answer well

When I receive a consultation, I think "I have to say something good" or "I want to answer well!", But the point is that I don't want to answer well. The person you are consulting with does not think that you want a good answer! Let's keep in mind ourselves as a natural person. You can relax your shoulders.

Bring out the true intentions of the other party

In most cases, if you are not good at explaining or if you feel that the content of the consultation is somewhat closed, you cannot really consult from the beginning. It is important to take the time to listen carefully, with the intention of drawing out what the other person really wants to say or thinks about.

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Especially when drawing out the true intentions of the other party

・ Voice tone

・ Facial expression

・ Eye movement

Please pay attention to and listen to the story. At what topic, the tone of the voice changes, the facial expression becomes cloudy, the eyes move, etc. It will help you find out what the other person is feeling uncomfortable with.

Imagine yourself in the position of the other person

When I receive a consultation, I just take a bird's eye view and listen to the story. The point here is to "think from the standpoint of the other party." Think about what you would do if you were in the same position. Even so, when it is difficult to think from the other person's point of view, it is one way to ask the other person, "What do you think?" Or "What do you think is the best?"

Refrain from advice and guidance

First of all, it is important to listen carefully to the other party's story. Please refrain from giving advice or guidance until the other person asks for it. The point is to understand what the other person wants so that you can support the other person!

Think about what you can do for the other person

Thinking "what can I do for the other person?" Is also a point to be "good at being consulted." When you receive a consultation, you can spend a meaningful time with each other by paying attention to what the other person wants.

・ I want you to listen to the story

・ I want you to sympathize

・ I want you to help me

・ I want advice and guidance

・ I want to check if my feelings are wrong

There are various things that the other party wants ... Think about what you can do based on what the other person wants.

Aiming to be a "good consultant" ♪

Why don't you aim to be "consulted and good" that you can rely on without overdoing it? If you can take the time to consult with someone without forgetting to be considerate of the other person, not only will the other person be happy, but you will also have a fulfilling time.

I hope it will be helpful when you receive a consultation ♪